Wish I was her, and that you were mine
by IluvTheChipmunks
Summary: When Brittany spots Alvin with his new girlfriend, and the way he kisses her and smiles at her, Brittany cant help but think back to when Alvin loved her, and when she used to be 'that girl'. But what happens when Alvin sees her again, and wants her back?


**Okay, as some of you guys have noticed, I've been writing a lot of dark/angsty fanfictions lately. But I swear, I'll get back to my regular romance ones soon :) Who doesn't love Alvin and Brittany romance? ^_^**

**But anyway, this oneshot is about the pain you get when seeing your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend in a relationship with someone new, but knowing that you STILL have feelings for him/her.**

**This is based off the song 'Wish I was her' by Amy Pearson. It's such a sad, but beautiful song. You guys should listen to it when you get the chance :)**

**Please read, and I hope you'll like it!**

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><p>It's been a year.<p>

Exactly one year ago, they broke up - Alvin and Brittany broke up.

Everyone who knew them thought they were the perfect 'it' couple. The couple who were in love, and were never to be apart. They knew everything about each other, they were with each other everyday, and anyone could tell that they were in love.

But that all changed one Summer night. A little talk turned into a big arguement, which turned into a fight, which caused tears, and caused a break up at the end. The words 'Good Riddance' still rung in both of their ears.

But it's been a year.

They haven't seen each other in a year, and it didn't feel right. Brittany began to miss him more and more each day, regretting the fight they had. She thought she had the strength to forget about him, but it just became worse. She knew she still loved him, but Brittany didn't say anything. She didn't want anyone to know about her missing her ex-boyfriend. She couldn't let it out. She thought she knew Alvin well enough to know that he missed her too, and that he was willing to take her back.

Brittany thought their break up wouldn't last forever.

She thought - hoped - that some small miracle would mend their relationship up again.

It was a sunny July afternoon. Brittany and her sisters, Jeanette and Eleanor were having lunch at a salad bar, just casually talking about everyday things. They were sitting in one of those restaurant couched sections. Eleanor and Jeanette had their backs to the door, whereas Brittany was facing the front door of the restaurant, seeing people come and go from the door.

"You know, we should go to the beach." Said Eleanor suddenly, after taking a sip of her ice tea. "We haven't been to the beach in a while."

Jeanette laughed. "The forecast said that after today, it's gonna be cloudy all week."

Eleanor pouted. "Killjoy."

Brittany smiled at her two sisters. But before saying something, the door of the restaurant swung open, making the little wind chime above it twinkle. Brittany looked up. In walked a boy, hand in hand with a brown haired, blue eyed girl. Brittany watched through a now-frozen heart as they boy and girl made their way to a table. The boy sat down, before the girl leaned in, kissed him, and stalked off into the ladies bathroom.

Brittany gasped ever so silently, and she felt her heart wrench to an extreme pain.

She knew _exactly _who that boy was.

"Hello?" Said Eleanor, waving her hand in front of her sister's face. "Earth to Brittany?"

Brittany felt all the blood leave her face. She swallowed hard, and turned to her sisters, who were staring at her back. "S-sorry." She said quietly. "You were saying?"

Jeanette raised her eyebrows. "Who're you looking at?" She asked, beginning to look behind her.

"NO ONE!" Exclaimed Brittany, earning more weird looks from not only her sisters, but from other people in the restaurant. She sighed. "I...I mean, nothing. I just kinda spaced out."

Her sisters just shrugged at each other before their food finally arrived at the table. Brittany just stared at her chicken salad, suddenly feeling sick. It was her ex-boyfriend, Alvin Seville - _her_ Alvin Seville. The boy she was so in love with, the boy who was in love with her. He was the boy she has missed all year, the boy who she had thought about all year - The boy she thought she would get back together with if they ever saw each other again.  
><strong><br>**"Brittany." Said Eleanor, swallowing a mouthful of her sandwich. "You haven't touched your salad."

Brittany looked up, and saw that her sisters were halfway through eating. She hadn't realized she was staring at her plate for almost 10 minutes. Brittany sighed. "I guess I'm not hungry." She said quietly.

"But you're the one who was complaining that we didn't have any food at home, and brought us here!" Exclaimed Jeanette.

The pink clad Chipette tried to act normal. "I kinda lost my appetite." She said, pushing her plate towards her sisters. "You guys have it."

As they took her salad in confusion, Brittany looked back up to look at the table where _he _was. The brown haired girl was back from the washroom. Alvin sat across from her, smiling at her - the same way he use to smile at Brittany. She saw the way the girl laughed, exactly the same way Brittany use to laugh around him. Brittany felt her whole body turn ice cold, suddenly hurt on the inside.

_How could he?_

Brittany blinked multiple times, as if wishing this were all a dream. But once she opened her eyes, they were still there. It was just too hard to watch, yet, Brittany couldn't turn away. Then she saw him make the words 'I love you' to the girl - exactly like the way he use to do when he said it to Brittany.

The _exact _same way; The way he smiled, the way his eyes gleamed...everything.

Brittany knew that she and Alvin weren't together anymore, but she couldn't believe it. After all those days - months of wanting him back, and hoping the two of them would start all over, he moved on. He moved onto another girl, as if Brittany Miller was just some stranger in his life. As if he was never in love with her. As if the fight they had was just a simple little argument.  
><strong><br>**He smiled at the brown haired girl again.

It broke Brittany's heart.

She remembered the times when Alvin use to belong to her. And now, she's let him go. She remembered the twinkle in his eyes whenever he stared at her, when he was in love with her. Brittany could see the love in his eyes as he stared at the girl, sitting across him. Brittany remembered the time when Alvin took her to lunch here, at this exact same restaurant. They had countless of amazing times then, but now, even though they're at the same restaurtant, all those good times faded into thin air. She knew this was his favorite place to eat out. She knew everything about him, and she knew that the brown haired girl didn't.

Brittany tried looking away again, but her eyes were still glued on the couple that was just a few feet away from her. She tried telling herself that he has found someone else, and that he's in love, but Brittany just didn't seem it was fair.

Brittany wondered why she was feeling heartbroken. They weren't together anymore, after all. He found someone else and he's in love with someone else.

It wasn't her anymore.

Brittany always thought that she was the only one for him, but she knew the look Alvin had on his face right now. She's seen that face a trillion times in her life, but for the first time, it wasn't for her.

He looked so in love.**  
><strong>  
>The brown haired girl reached over and held his hand, making him smile even more, clearly showing that he was deeply in love. But this time, Brittany couldn't remember a time when she held Alvin's hand, making him smile like that. She wasn't sure if she made him smile like that at all. Sure, she's made him smile, but not like this.<p>

Brittany felt her heart clench as she thought about it. After all this time, why did it suddenly occur to her now? Did she do something wrong? Brittany felt like it was as if he's never loved her like that.

Brittany just wanted him back. She wanted to have him, like how that girl had him now. It's been a year. They hadn't spoken to each other, seen each other - nothing. And seeing him for the first time in a year, with another girl, was something that wasn't expected. That was the least thing she wanted.

Brittany remembered all the times she said 'I love you' too Alvin, and him saying 'I love you too'. All those memories poured back into her mind. The way he cuddled her, kissed her, held her...all of that was gone. All Brittany had now her _memories_.

And for once, Brittany wished she was that girl, holding Alvin's hand, kissing him, saying 'I love you' to him. Right now, she's do anything to be back in that place. But that was nothing more than a wish. A wish that would never come true.

But she'd do anything...**  
><strong>  
>Brittany continued to look at him. Just him. He was laughing at something the girl said, as they both continued to hold each other's hand.<p>

He looked so...happy. The last time Brittany saw him was that night when the two of them fought. He was so mad and so angry. And she was the cause of that. But now, he looked like the Alvin she knew, and loved. She's never seen him this happy. And once again, Brittany was hurt even more. She always thought that she was the only girl in the world who could make him smile and laugh like that. And the fact that _she_ wasn't the one who made him laugh, deeply cut Brittany's inner feelings.

It cut her in a way that would never, ever heal.

She always thought that memories of the two of them would stay in him forever.

But it was as if he hadn't known who Brittany Miller was at all. All those memories were now being replaced. All the hapiness, the love and the recollections of their memories that happened between them just melted away, just disappeared into thin, lifeless air, as if none of it had ever happened.

"Britt?" Said Jeanette.

Brittany looked at her.

"Didn't you hear a word I said?" Asked her purple clad sister.

Brittany shook her head.

Jeanette sighed. "We're leaving soon, okay?"

Brittany wasn't sure if she wanted to go or not. She wanted to leave, wanting to forget about Alvin, wanting to leave him and the brown haired girl. But at the same time, she wasn't sure if she was ever going to see him again. She wasn't sure if her eyes, and her heart could let him go.

It was no use being in love with him again.

They were in love, but they lost each other. She lost him. But Brittany missed him. She wanted to be with him again. But there was no chance in getting him back. She was the one who ended their relationship in the first place after all...

But despite all of this, Brittany can't help but feel that she is still in love with him, as if they had never broken up. Ever since that night when they broke up, Brittany knew that somewhere deep inside of her, she still loved him. And she thought that after a few days of not talking to each other, they'd return to each other. But she was wrong.

A month had passed after they broke up, and she heard nothing from him. Then half a year, but still nothing. And after not seeing each other for that long, Brittany finally realized that they were through.

Brittany turned back to the place where the couple sat. She saw Alvin say something to the girl, making the brown haired girl laugh again. And for the first time, Brittany felt like crying.

Why did she let him go?**  
><strong>  
>Brittany remembered how she was the one who was always by Alvin's side. She was the one who walked him to the nurse's room during a football accident in high school. She was the one who stayed with him when he was sick during college. She was the one who took a day off from work, just to spend time with him. She did everything for him.<p>

Now, all of that was gone.

Then Alvin said something, and the brown haired girl nodded. He stood up, and walked into the washroom. Once he was gone, Brittany felt this sign of relief. It was actually him. 90% of her wanted to follow him and apologize and cry to him with all of her mite, wanting to say how sorry she was for starting the fight, and sorry for letting him go, and saying that she still loved him so much, and that she never forgot about him - never.

But Brittany stayed in her place.

He wasn't hers anymore.

A minute passed, and he still hadn't returned from the washroom. Brittany was starting to think that by the time he came out, she and her sisters had already left. She was starting to think that today would be the last time seeing him - forever. Despite how much she wanted to see him again, even if it was just a small glance, she wouldn't allow it. She just couldn't allow him back...

Could she?

"Brittany." Said Eleanor, standing up from her seat. "Come on, let's go."

The pink clad Chipette looked at her sister, silently telling herself that the past belonged to the past, and eventually, she will have to get over him and that she'll find someone else - Someone better than him. But was it even possible to find someone better than him, someone who could replace the empty spot in her heart?

But then she told herself that it will never happen. There would never be a guy who would fill the missing space in her heart that she lost.

Brittany nodded. "Okay." She said before standing up. She wanted to get out of here now, so she put her purse on her shoulder, and began walking fast, trying to reach the door, wanting to escape.

And that's when everything changed.

Brittany was walking too fast, that she didn't even realize where she was going.

And that's when she bumped into someone.

But before she could fall, the stranger caught her in his arms.

"I'm sorry. I didn't see you there."

Brittany froze. She knew who that voice belonged to.

She allowed a few seconds to pass, wanting her heart rate to slow down before speaking up.

"N-no problem." Mumbled Brittany, saying it so quietly, it was almost a whisper. But she was hoping with all her mite that he would not recognize the sound of her voice.

But before she tried walking away again, the 'stranger' got a hold of her arm.

Brittany froze, and closed her eyes for a long time. He was holding her. He knew her voice. She wish she had the strength to pull away, but her strength was nowhere to be found. Brittany took one more deep breath, and turned to the source of the voice. She slowly opened her eyes, and found herself staring into his warm golden eyes for the first time in a year. She felt her heart shatter on the inside.  
><strong><br>**Alvin and Brittany said nothing to each other. They just continued to stare into each others eyes for the longest seconds ever imagined.

1 second passed, then 2, then 3...

Brittany felt her heart rate go up in a dangerously fast pace, and she could imagine Alvin's doing the same. Just one simple glance at him brought back everything. The love they use to share - it all flashed back into her eyes, her mind and her heart.

But Brittany had to let go. She pulled herself out of his grasp, and looked away.

Another moment of silence passed before it was finally shattered by his gentle voice saying her name.

"Brittany." Said Alvin quietly. It wasn't a question or anything, it just sounded like a statement, like he couldn't believe she was here.

Brittany looked down and closed her eyes, suddenly releasing a single, unwanted tear. As much as she loved him now, she just couldn't bring herself up to talk. Even though she wanted him back, they already said their 'Goodbye' to each other.

The pink clad Chipette turned to her sisters, who were standing a few steps away, mouths slightly hung open as they watched them, looking shocked to see Brittany and Alvin near each other again.

Brittany sighed, "Eleanor, Jeanette, let's go."

Her sisters looked at each other nervously, but said nothing. Brittany wanted to leave, but her feet stayed in place.

Her sisters had a feeling. They didn't know what it was about, but they just had a gut feeling to leave Alvin and Brittany alone or a few moments. They had seen Alvin and Brittany love each other before. And though it was a dangerous idea to leave them alone together, especially since they are not together anymore. But deep inside Jeanette and Eleanor's thoughts, Alvin and Brittany had to see each other again, even if it was just for one small moment. They knew their older sister was hurting on the inside because of him. And if this is the only way to let that pain go, then they'd do anything to help their sister.

Britany heard Eleanor sigh as she walked past her, with Jeanette trailing right behind the blonde hair, green clad Chipette. "We'll wait for you in the car." Eleanor said, before she and Jeanette walked out of the restaurant, without even looking at her or Alvin.

Brittany closed her eyes again. Then she looked up to look at him in the face. There he was, still flawless and handsome as ever. But she couldn't read his expression at all.

She heard Alvin take a deep sigh. "H-Hi." He said.

Brittany said nothing.

Alvin gulped, and looked down. He remained wordless for a few moments before looking back up again. Brittany was looking away from him, but Alvin continued to stare into her face, looking at her perfect pink cheeks which he use to kiss upon when they were together. Alvin felt a part of himself die. One glimpse of her brought everything back. His mind had the same questions Brittany had. What did he do? Why did he let her go?

"Brittany, I-"

"Don't." Brittany whispered, cutting him off.

Alvin sighed. "Brittany, please. I-"

But before he could say something else, another voice was heard.

"Alvin?" Said the brown haired girl from behind him. She got out of her seat and stood beside him. She looked at Brittany for a few seconds. "Who's this?"

Alvin said nothing.

Brittany couldn't take it anymore.

The brown haired girl looked at Alvin, then back at Brittany again. "Do you know her?" Asked the brown haired girl.

Brittany looked up, only to see Alvin's eyes looking down upon her. She stayed frozen, waiting to hear his answer. Does he still know her? Well, of course he does. But now, since he is now with someone else, does he even have the guts to tell his new girlfriend who Brittany is? Is he able to tell his new girlfriend that Brittany was the girl he once loved, more than anything - the girl he loved first.

Alvin sighed, then looked at his girlfriend. "I...I-I, uh..."

"No." Brittany whispered abruptly.

Alvin and the brown haired girl looked at her at the same time. She saw Alvin freeze, while his girlfriend raised her eyebrows.

Brittany didn't unlock her gaze from Alvin. "He just saved me from tripping." She said weakly.

"Oh." Said the brown haired girl, then closed her mouth into a hard, straight line, clearly showing that she didn't believe it.

Brittany felt her heart clench. Why did she say that? Why did she act as if she and Alvin were complete strangers to each other? But remembering all the times they spent together before they broke up, she just couldn't bring herself up to surrender, and fall for him again - even though her heart still yearns for his.

"Yeah." Brittany said quietly.

Alvin said nothing. He just looked at her, hurt and confused, wondering why Brittany was acting like this. But deep inside, he knew the reason why. It was because they weren't together anymore. They didn't belong to each other anymore. He is now with another girl, but there was something else. Though he is now with the brown haired girl that stood beside him, he knows that something lingers inside of him, wanting to have Brittany back for himself.

Brittany cleared her throat before looking away to the ground. "Um, anyway, thanks."

Alvin couldn't hold back anymore. Just one glance at the girl he used to love brought everything back to him. Millions of questions ran through his head, asking himself why he was feeling like this. And without even knowing, he opened his mouth and spoke.

"Don't." Alvin pleaded in a whisper.

Brittany's eyes snapped up into his.

"Please." Alvin begged, ignoring the sudden glares of the brown haired girl who stood beside him. "Brittany, don't - go." He said, saying each word with meaning.

Alvin's current girlfriend looked at Brittany, then at Alvin, then back at Brittany, anger and betrayal written all over her face.

But neither Alvin nor Brittany could care less about the looks the brown haired girl was giving them. And as of now, Alvin didn't even acknowledge the fact that his current girlfriend was there. All he could see was Brittany - all he could focus on was Brittany. But Brittany felt her heart clench once again. She looked back to the cold hard tiled ground, and shook her head.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

There was complete silence for about 5 seconds.

Brittany looked at Alvin one last time.

She looked into his eyes, and what she saw almost made her crumble to her knees.

_He wanted her back._

But she just can't. Not anymore.

And without saying another word, she unlocked her gaze from Alvin, blinked once, letting another tear fall out of her blue eyes, turned around, and walked out of the door, and away from him forever.

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><p><strong>A simple, but sad ending. But unfortunately, that's reality.<strong>

**I honestly don't know why I've been writing so many sad oneshots lately! Like, 'Lost Forever', 'Cross my heart' and 'Love the way you lie' have been some of the darkest pieces of writing I have ever done! But I am so glad that some of you have taken the time in reading them. I love you all :)**

**But I hope you guys still enjoyed reading this one! Thanks soo much for reading, and please review!**


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